I don't feel very good right now. I don't feel bad physically (well I do, all the time, but that's another story), just mostly mentally. I'm depressed again, and I'm pissed about it. I have no reason to be depressed, but I have a damn chemical imbalance. I should take medicine for it, but I don't have insurance right now so there's not much I can do. I take herbal stuff sometimes like Ginseng and Kavaa Kavaa. It helps a little, but I don't really have the money now to buy that stuff since I'm trying to save it up for when I go back to Cali. Well at least my trip home is something to look forward to. I hate feeling this way though! Seriously, I mean what the hell? I am going to be seeing my family in less than a month; I have a new car I'll be able to drive when I get there. It should be fairly easy for me to find a job, so why am I depressed? cause of the GD chemical imbalance that I can do nothing about, but it makes me have manic depression. I hope it ends soon. I'm so mad right now.

I'm also mad because I had to change the layout of the women's shoes for winter. I have never done it before, so it took me a while and I didn't get a chance to zone my area. It's a mess. I mean I picked everything up, but all the shoes are in the boxes the wrong way and stuff. I know that's not a big deal, but I like to do a good job. I wish I could have stayed longer, but they can't afford to let me stay an hour longer. I am a perfectionist. Well, actually, I have OCD, so it REALLY bugs me when I can't get things perfect and I just have to leave. I hope I can do better tomorrow.

I get paid Thurs. and I can't wait cause I only have like $2 at the moment. I have to pay my ph. bill. Maybe that's why I'm depressed ;) ha! look at that! I still have a sense of humour!:p