I haven't really felt like writing in my diary lately, but I am overdue for a new entry. Anyway, my sister is pissing me off. I don't really want to get in to it, I'll just say I am insulted by her assumption that I am too stupid or blind to know what's going on. I have eyes for God's sakes! Maybe I'm just not saying anything because I'm trying not to make a big deal of it. How does she know I don't feel the same way anyway? And if I do, how could it be true for both of us? I don't know if I do, but that doesn't mean anything considering she changed her mind so she's obviously not always that confident. Whatever. I realize I did get in to this, but oh well.

I wanted to talk about my trip to the emergency room (it wasn't a big deal). Ok, I was walking outside the Petsmart and this lady who was driving by stopped for us. I started running and all of a sudden my shoe slipped off and I somehow tripped and fell flat on my face. Well, I put my hands out so I would not get hurt as badly. I remember sliding and hitting the tip of my nose. After I got up the first thing I noticed is that my stomache was hurting really badly. I started cussing and I was just like f-it, sh...,sh..., I'm sorry I'm cussing, ow, f...,f..., I'm so sorry, ow! It was kind of like that. Then, I noticed my nose was bleeding. The lady who had stopped for us, gave me some napkins for my nose and asked if I was ok. A couple of other people asked too. I was ok, except that I was hurting. We went to Walmart and as I was walking, my knee started hurting really badly so I called my mom and she drove me to the emergency room. I don't know that I have been in an emergency since I was a kid. I don't remember being in one when I was older so I don't think I have. Anyway, I was pushed in there in a wheelchair and then I signed in and waited for 20 min. to tell a lady what was wrong, what happened, how much pain I was in, etc. Then I waited another maybe 30 min. and they called me into a room. Another 20 min. later, the doctor came in and asked what happened and where I hurt. She said everything felt alright, but she wanted to get an x-ray of my knee just to be sure.

Dammit, my glasses just broke (again). the thing that goes around your ear (I forget what it's called) broke, the right one. I already broke and I superglued it, but it came off again. I really need to get new ones, but I didn't have time to get some before the holidays. I hope they stay together at least until after new years so I will be able to see until I get new ones. Now I have sperglue on my finger :S

Ok, back to what I was saying. So, I waited another maybe 15 min. and got the x-rays, went back to the room I was in, waited yet another 30 min. for the results. Results showed no problems, Doctor told me to take it easy and wear an ace bandage. She also prescribed me some muscle relaxants and pain med. Finally, after 20 more min. I got my prescriptions and my vitals checked and then went home. So, I was there over 2 hous, but I was only talking to a doctor or nurse for maybe 20 min. Oh well. I'm just lucky it wasn't busier, but I've heard people don't get medical help as much during the holidays when something is wrong, even though they should. Oh, the person next to me in the room (there were curtains between us) had dimentia and pain in his kidneys. I don't know what was wrong w/ him, but it's sad that he didn't know what was going on. His son and wife were w/ him. That brings up something else. Noone stayed w/ me. First, Lucy left her cd player in my car (which was in the Walmart parking lot) so mom drove her over there so she could get it, but why did they both have to go? Couldn't mom have just gotten it. I would have liked someone to stay w/ me. Anyway then my mom had to go to a friend's house so she left and Lucy just stayed in the waiting room and listened to her music. She never came to see me in the room, but she was asleep when I got out so I guess she was too tired to think about that. Oh, and when I was waiting the first time (for the lady to ask all the questions) Lucy went and sat next to mom instead of talking to me. She would have had to stand if she stayed w/ me and mom was sitting where the chairs were so I understand that, it's just I don't know, I didn't I felt like I was just being a burden and they were just doing to bare minimum to make sure I got help, but they didn't really think about me wanting company or anything. Maybe it's just my low self esteem or something. Anyway... Everything is feeling better except my side is hurting. I'm just trying to take it easy and take my med. if I need it.

I found out something sad from my mom. Apparently our friend Michael G. is very ill. He has had 2 heart attacks and a stroke in the last couple of years. I didn't know how bad he was until maybe a week ago. Also, his son graduated college a couple of mos. ago and he is having trouble finding a job and paying school bills. I guess he is depressed. I understand. Mom wants me to email him, but I don't know what to say. I guess I'll just tell him I know how he feels. I was having trouble finding a job too. Of course I ended up w/ SSI and doing caregiving, but I know how frustrating it is thinking things are going to come together after college and it won't be that hard to find a job.

Speaking of depression, I have been depressed lately. Not for any one reason, I've just been feeling like shit to put it bluntly. I like watching all these holiday shows and spending time w/ my family, and of course watching SG-1, but I still feel like crap when it comes down to it. I don't know what else to say so I guess that's it. I don't care how crappy my grammar is on here btw.