Oh my goodness! Ok, I have spent the last nine hours updating my archives page. I wanted all the dates to look the same (like 01-01-01 as opposed to 2001-01-01 or 01-01-2001) and I'd say over half of my entries were in the wrong format. I have three years worth of entries and most of the time I've posted at least a couple of times a week (excluding the month when I was moving back home from virginia) so that is obviously a lot of entries! Anyway, I know it doesn't matter, but it was bugging me so I decided to change it. I think what was taking me a long time was that I was reading my entries. I tried not to read all of them, but sometimes something would catch my eye. It's funny, I'd read an entry that was from just a couple of years ago and I'd realize that I've changed a lot since then. I feel like I'm reading someone elses diary! It's weird how peoples ideas and the way they act or talk can change in a short amount of time. I mean personalities don't change, but perceptions and the way people react to the world can and does.

I'm watching Big-O. Well not totally watching it, I'm kinda listening to it while typing this. Anyway, they don't have the opening on there anymore. I love the opening. I like that show anyway, but the opening is so cool! "Big O, Big O, Big O, Big O, Cast in the name of God. Ye Not Guilty. We have come to terms, Big O." Yeah, it's cool, it doesn't annoy me that they repeat the words "Big O" a lot cause it's cool how they do the song. Oh well.

I'm eating Fruit Loops right now. Well actually I just finished them, but anyway... Fruit Loops make me think of Jack :) "Wacko!" ha ha ha!!!

Speaking of Jack (indirectly anyway ;)) I bought the latest edition of the official SG-1 mag. There was only one copy at the store so I have to try and find another one for Lucy. I do feel guilty, but I had to keep it. There is poster in there of the Atlantis team with Carson in it! I don't have any posters of him so I just had to keep it. Anyway Amanda is on the front and there is an interview with her in the mag. I just have to say I think she is so beautiful. I consider myself to be straight, but every once in a while a woman comes along who I'll be attracted to. I have had crushes on about 5 girls and more guys than I can count, so obviously it's not that common. All the girls so far I have had crushes on when I was younger, like in HS. I went through a time where I thought I was gay, then I thought I was bi, but now, like I said, I say I'm straight with the occasional attraction towards the same sex. Hmm I must be getting braver about what I post on here because I've never talked about that before. When I was saying earlier that I thought something was happening, it was that I thought I was getting a crush on Amanda, but it didn't happen. I think the reason is I know she wouldn't like me. Both Amanda and Sam, as far as I know, are straight. Some people can get a crush on a celebrity or character that couldn't like them because it's not like they are going to get to the person, but with me I find it hard to get a crush on someone when I know they couldn't feel the same way even if they weren't famous and I just knew them personally. I can get a crush on people who are married or have bfs or gfs because I think that if they didn't and I just knew them, they could possibly like me. I know that's a weird way of thinking, but oh well. Anyway, I once had a crush on Rupert Everett, but when I found out he is gay, I instantly got out of it. I still thought he was very handsome, but didn't have a crush on him anymore. I used to be able to get crushes on people that wouldn't like me (like with the girls I've had crushed on), but not anymore. So yeah, that's the way I am. Anyway, regardless, I do find Amanda to be very beautiful and she just seems like such a sweet person from everything I have heard and seen. In the interview she was saying she felt blessed to have a family and a good job and to be able to take her daughter with her to work. I really hope Amanda is at the Vancouver convention because I'd really like to meet her. I hope Paul is there too. Obviously I love Carson and not Paul, but Paul plays Carson and he is very cool, so I would really like to meet him also. I just checked the list of people who will be attending the convention and so far it is Gary, Joe, Cliff Simon (plays Baal), and James Bamford who is the stunt coordinator for Atlantis. I'm sure more people will be on there though because the convention isn't until March. Geez though I REALLLLY need to get the passports! That's all I need. After that I just have to save money and I'll probably just do what I did last time which was to get a cash advance of about $500. I ended up spending all of it too, but it was so worth it! I hope I get a chance to hug Joe. I wanted to last time and wasn't able to. I know I don't have a crush on him anymore, but I still want to try. I want to hug him, Paul and Amanda, but we'll have to see what happens...

OH OH OH! Speaking again of Stargate, you know what comes out today! The first season DVD and the first season soundtrack of Atlantis! YAY! I can't wait to get them! Oh my goodness! I'm pretty sure there are eps. of first season that I haven't seen yet, or at least eps. that I've only seen once and I know there are eps. with Carson that I didn't see when I liked him so that will be really cool. Geez, I'm so excited! I'm going to the movies with Lucy today and I'm going to get those on the way. I am so happy I will be able to watch them in my room on my portable DVD player. The only eps. I have now on DVD are Atlantis: Rising parts one and two so now I will have lots more eps. to watch in my room. Yay again! I'm going to record the Atlantis st and the SG-1 st onto one CD so I will have both sts together. That will be so cool!

And now for something completely different... ;)

"How about I paint your fine hiney with my tounge brush?"

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! That is from Stella, David says it. He is so cute! That is such a funny ass show! I don't remember if he says that exactly, but something like that. David, Michael and Michael think they are in a mental institution (don't really want to explain the story) and they are expressing their feelings through painting. The teacher says something like "You can paint anything you want" and then David says that. I think he's my fave, then Probably the taller Michael (I can't remember his last name). They are all funny though! That show doesn't seem to be on except late at night. I wish it was on more cause it kicks ass!

I sure have a lot to talk about today. I found an interesting diary today. It is perceptionss

The person (it says Eric on their profile, but I don't know for sure if they are a guy or girl so I don't want to assume) apparently has Paranoid Schizophrenia. I just clicked on their banner because it said something like I can't relate to 99% of the population which is the way I feel, and it turned out to be a very interesting diary. I put it on my favorites. I sure have a lot of problems, but I don't know if I have schizophrenia. My sis was in a hospital for a while because of various problems she has and her roomate had it. I was talking to her and all of a sudden she was staring in front of her and then started yelling at someone who wasn't there. Then she said the devil was there. That is the only experience I have had with someone who has schizophrenia, but she was obviously very severe. You couldn't talk to her for more than a few minutes. Lucy said she just kept to herself and Lucy did too. I read something that said people with schizophrenia don't become attached to people very easily. I'm sure other things can cause that, but I am like that. I don't know why, but I just don't care that much if I never talk to a person again. With the exception of my family and a few really good friends. Some people think I am just saying that because I am too shy to make friends, and maybe I am, but I really don't care about making friends anyway. I talk to people online, but not in "real" life except when I go out. I sometimes think I do have schizophrenia, but not a severe case. I don't know though. I don't see people. Well I have seen people that no one else saw, but not close up and they didn't talk to me. I thought they were ghosts. I see shadows though. I see them all the time. When I'm in the car I think someone is in the back of the car and there's no one there, but I always check anyway. I've never told anyone that before. I know it is crazy. I know it's not normal to see those things, but I still see them. I also am very paranoid. I think people are laughing at me or talking about me in public and I really feel like people are looking at me sometimes. It feels like I have a stain on my shirt or something on my face and they are looking at me because of it. I try not to care what people think, and I don't really, but I still feel like people are looking at me. Anyway, that is why it interests me, schizophrenia, because I haven't been diagnosed, and if I do have it I think I have a mild case, but I do have some of the symptoms.

I must have really felt like writing an entry today. I think I'm actually done now.