Feeling: in love

Thinking: I wish I could just think my entries

It would be so cool if I could just think of what I want to say on here, and it would appear. There is a lot I want to say sometimes, and I just don't feel like typing sometimes. Oh well. Until something is invented where I can use my mind to write my entries, I guess I'll just have to use my trusty fingers and keyboard.

I was thinking about my orientation and I used to say I was straight bi when I loved Carson, then I said I was lesbian bi when I loved Chels. Now I am in love with a guy, but I would just say I am bi. Honestly, I mean I have loved more guys than girls, but I am overall just as attracted to girls as I am guys. I was saying to Lucy that if I didn't love Ambrose, I could have gotten a crush on either Alan or Zooey. Anywho...

Something that I wanted to address a while ago, but didn't get a chance is that the Matthew Sheppard act unfortunately did not get to the president, so will not have a chance at becoming law. If you are unfamiliar with this proposed bill, basically it would have expanded the already existing hate crimes law (which includes color, race or perceived race, religion, and national origin) to include gender, dissability, sexual orientation, and gender identity. The president said he wold veto it anyway, but it's frustrating that we got so far, only to be torn down. However, we came farther than we ever have before, so that is a really good sign. Maybe, if we actually get a president who is not an ass, and realizes how important a bill like this is, It will actually get up to them the next time and they will pass it. Anyone who says that bill should not have passed is full of shit.

Ok, lets look at reasons for why people said it shouldn't pass. I am not quoting anyone, but these are basic things I have heard from my readings regarding the matter. Also, I'm not going to look up any statistic, but I suggest anyone interested in rates of crime, specific cases, etc. go to http://www.hrc.org

1. It's unecessary - How? There are so many people being hurt and worse, simply because of their sexual orientation, or because they have a dissability, something they cannot help or control. If those people were attacked because they were of a certain race, the crime would be listed as a hate crime and the assailants might get a heavier punishment. However, because dissability and sexual orientation are not included in the current hate crimes law, the crime would not be listed as a hate crime, and therefore the assailant could get a lesser sentence (depending on the crime itself), even though it clearly was a hate crime! Even if they do get a strong sentence, that's not really the point. If a person is hurting or killing someone for who they are or what they look like, it should be listed as a hate crime!

2. It would inhibit freedom of speech - This one was popular among conservative christians. Basically, they were saying that if a minister preaches that homosexuality is wrong, and then a person who hears them goes out and hurts or kills someone because they are homosexual, that minister would be held liable for the crime. That is complete crap! It says right in the bill that a person practicing freedom of speech would not be held accountable! The people who wrote the bill realize that a person is responsible for their own actions, and just because someone hears that a person is bad, doesn't mean they are going to hurt that person. So, even though the minister's ideas are ignorant and mis-guided, there would be no punishment for them if a person who commited a hate crime said well, I heard my preacher say those people were evil. It's just sad that people tried to use this reasoning, because once again, it says plainly on the bill that a person excercising freedom of speech would not be affected.

3. If it did not include sexual orientation and gender identity (usually reffering to someone who has had a sex change, or a transvestite), I would be ok with the bill - Yeah, forgive me, because I can't recall where I heard this, probably variations in several places, but it's yet another ignorant "reason" for why the bill shouldn't pass. Why would it be ok if a crime against a woman or a person with a dissability was counted as a hate crime, but not for the other examples? The other people can not help who they are anymore than the first two, so why shouldn't they be included? Well, because the people who say that are prejudice, that's why! They think that Gays, Lesbians, Bisexual and Transgendered people can help who they are, or if they have feelings, they shouldn't act on them. So that is the plain and simple reason why they don't think they should be included in a bill like this. I have read religious articles against this bill saying they feel bad for people who are victims of hate crimes (including ones for sexual orientation and gender identity), but they still don't think they should be included in the hate crimes law. Now, would they feel the same way if race or color was not already included? Probably not. It's a crock of shit!

Now I want to rant about something that is on the same subject, but not directly involving the hate crimes law and that is the idiotic notion that being homosexual or bisexual is a choice. Ok, I ask all the straight people who think this way did you choose to be straight? I mean did you make a conscious decision sometime in your adolescent years and say "You know what, I'm only going to be attracted to people of the oppposite sex"? Because if you did, then good for you, because you can do something that most people can't. Most people can not choose who they are attracted to and who they love. A person on a message board I went to recently said something like (not exact quote) "I know these people can't help feeling that way, but it is wrong to act on those feelings." So, according to this person, if a person falls in love with someone that is the same gender as them, they should just ignore those feelings and be miserable for the rest of their lives while all the straight people get to be happy because they can openly love people. That is fucking ridiculous! Why shouldn't that person get to express their love? Because it is a sin, you say? Yeah, I have news for you. Repeat after me... NOT EVERYONE FEELS THE WAY YOU DO!!! NOT EVERYONE IS A PREJUDICE, IGNORANT CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN!!!

If a person doesn't have any reason to think it is wrong, they don't have a reason to not express their feelings.

I know conservative christians will not accept this. Their word is law, no matter what. And I don't say that it's God's word, because so many things in the bible are mis-construed, have been altered, re-written, etc. that most of what conservative christians think is the "word of God" are half-truths and full out lies!

I know that I can't control who I love and I don't want to. It is not wrong for me to feel attracted to a girl and suppressing those feelings would cause much worse trauma to my psyche than accepting my feelings.

now for the next installment, I would like to discuss gay marriage, since the thing about not being able to control who you love naturally goes into that topic.

First of all, I'd like everyone to get one thing straght. Read this very carefully. Let it sink in. Ok, ready?

MARRIAGE... IS... ABOUT... LOVE!!!

There, did you read it? Really? Because I don't think very many people in this country really know wht marriage is about. They seem to think it is about one of two things:

A. Having kids

B. Tradition (aka it's what's expected of us).

If more people really married for love, and understood what that really means, maybe they would not have such a problem with a person marrying someone of the same gender.

Let's expand on these two ideas.

Having kids - So many people who are against gay (to make it easier, I am going to say gay when I mean gay or lesbian) marriage say that it's wrong because you can't have kids. It would bring the population down, the main reason for marriage is to have babies and increase the population, bla bla bla.

Um, the last time I checked gay people were still gay, even though they are not able to marry in this country, so they aren't having kids. Therefore, they are not contributing to the population growth. They aren't suddenly going oh, I think I'll be straight so I can have kids. Also, the last time I checked, the US population was fine and certainly was not suffering because there were some people who didn't have kids. Speaking of not having kids, did you know there are straight couples who don't have kids?! Yeah, I know, isn't it appaling?! There are men and women in this country who are married, as we speak, and are not having kids! And not only because they have some sort of problem where they can't have kids, but simply because they don't want kids. However, does the religious right have a problem with these people? Probably not. They seem to only have problems with people who don't have kids when it's same sex couples. One reason why that argument is completely ridiculous. On another note, many gay couples adopt. There are many children in foster homes, waiting for loving families. If the only reason people marry is to have kids, what is supposed to happen to the children in the foster homes? Are they supposed to just live their lives without ever having a real home, or family? Apparently.

Tradition - This is not exatly something that is really said, but it's obvious that it's one of the reasons why people marry. They get to an age where they want to settle down and they meet someone they like, or care about, but don't love. They marry that person because they figure that it's better than not being with someone, and it's what they are supposed to do. Then, when they realize they made a mistake, they either end up getting divorced, they are miserable for the rest of their lives, or they start doing something like drinking, or having an affair. This is apparently better than two people of the same gender being together because they actually love each other. Pathetic.

There is no real reason, none whatsoever, why gay marriage is not allowed, why gays are not afforded the same rights as straight couples in this country. There is nothing that can be said that can't, in some way, also apply to some straight couples.

However, it is not really about that. It's not really about any sociological or scientific reason.

The real reason is this. Conservative christians think homosexuality, and anything having to do with it, so therefore gay marriage, is a sin. They will try to sugar coat this idea, to say no, we just think marriage is about this and this and this, but they are really saying 'being gay is wrong, it's a sin, these people are going to burn in hell forever, and they should not have any rights, let alone being able to marry in our churches!'

The main reason people think this is because of the bible verse where it says "thou shalt not lie with a man, as with a woman..." Ok, first of all, the bible was written thousands of years ago, in a language completely different frome English. It was written by a bunch of men, not God (I know, I am going to hell) and was basically a way for them to push their own laws and beliefs on people. Some things in the bible may have the original meaning, but even if they do, it is not necessarely what God would have actually said. However, most bible verses are mis-construed in some way, either because the translation is wrong, or certain words that are translated right, actually had a different meaning back in biblical times. Therefore, that verse probably doesn't say what it was originally intended to say. On the same note, why doesn't it say a woman should't lie with a woman? What, it's ok to be a lesbian, but not gay? Well if that's true, what the heck are you conservative christians getting on the women's case for? Only the men are the sinners (I would like to take this oppurtunity to say that I am a very sarcastic person, especially when I am angry. If I am saying stuff that does not sound like something I would say normally, something that I would dissaprove of, I'm being sarcastic. It's sad that I have to say this, but there are people who wouldn't get that)!

The fact is, the bible is extremely convoluted, and the English versions are just not very accurate as far as they pertain to what was originally written. Heck, whole entire books were thrown out when a group took over and decided on what books would be included and what wouldn't, as well as the christian ideals, which would eventually form the religion and bible we know today.

Even if the bible was not mis-construed, had not been changed at all, there would still be something else that is true. Once again... NOT EVERYONE BELIEVES THE WAY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS DO!!! The plain and simple fact is that there are many people, in this country and others, who just don't believe that homosexuality is a sin, regardless of what the bible says. Why should those people have to conform to what conservative christians say? In a way, isn't that a violation of the freedom of religion? I mean think about it. Conservative christians think I shouldn't marry someone of my gender because it is wrong. I don't believe it is wrong, so why am I not allowed to marry that person? I didn't know that conservative christians actually had all the say. Apparently freedom of religion is not as true as I thought.

It just pisses me off because it's plain, simple prejudice. That's all it will ever be and it's absolutely maddening that GLBT people don't have the same rights, and can't marry people they love, simply because of some ignorant, arrogant asses!

I've been wanting to say all that for a while, but always had something else on my mind that was a little more pressing. I'm glad I finally expressed myself. Freedom of speech, that is one thing in this country that GLBT people can use and no one can tell them it's a sin for them to talk!

Note - Conservative Christians are the most vocal, but when I refer to them, I am referring to any ignorant and mis-guided group that feels the same way. On another note, I also realize that not all Christians feel this way. There are perfectly nice, understanding Christians, who do not think that gays are evil. I thank you for being tolerant and not spreading a message of hate guised as a message from God.

That's all for now.