Feeling: ok

Watching: Boondocks

Thinking: I feel a little crazy

Ok, I can't figure out how to edit my profile. I didn't think about it before, but I want to change it and with the changes to the Diaryland layout, I can't seem to find out where I would do that. It's driving me rather buggy. I sent an email to Andrew (the person who runs Diaryland), so hopefully it will be fixed soon. If he forgot to put the page up, then obviously he's going to have to.

Alright, enough about that. I have something much more interesting to talk about. Well, interesting to me, at least ;)

I don't love Ambrose anymore. Yeah, omg, less than 3 months I know! But, there it is. I am going to say who has stolen my heart, but first, just a little story.

Ok, I realized a few days ago that I didn't want to watch Tin Man as much, but I didn't know why. I still did feel like watching it, just not as much, as I said. So, on Friday I was watching it and I didn't see Ambrose the way I used to see him. I still cared about him and thought he was cute, but I didn't have that love feeling, you know? That giddy feeling you get?

So, I was trying to figure this out. I was like, ok, I was sure I felt awfully strongly about him, why am I not feeling that way anymore? All the other times recently when I've loved people I didn't stop feeling that way until I found someone else. Sooo... I started racking my brain thinking if I felt that way about someone and just didn't realize and then I did (realize).

The person I now love is Nick from CSI :) Woo! Yep. Ok, Omg, it was so fricking inevitable! It used to be that Nick, Sara and Grissom were like my first fave. I couldn't choose between them. Then Sara left and it was just Nick and Grissom. However, in the last few eps. and in some older eps. too I was really noticing Nick more, but I didn't get that really strong feeling for him. For one reason or another, it just wasn't the right time I guess.

The first time I think I thought more about him was in the ep. before the newest one. I really did not like the ep. very much. It had to do with dog fighting (which I am adamantly against and it was of course portrayed as the horrible and cruel activity that it is) and although I didn't like watching an ep. dealing with that subject very much, Nick was very empathetic about the dogs. He was talking to this one kid that wanted to help the dogs about how dogs don't stay mad at you, even when they are hurt. Then, when a person was saying that traing a dog to fight in LV is not illegal (yeah, that makes sense. It's illegal to fight them, but not train them. Why the hell are they being trained to fight if they aren't going to fight!?), Nick said "Well, it should be".

Yeah, so I definitely noticed him more after that, but I guess not enough.

The second time I thought more about him was in the newest ep. It was a good, funny ep. (Hodges is making this board game where you solve crimes and he was running through various scenarios with the fellow lab techs), but throughout it people were talking to Grissom about Sarah leaving, asking how he's doing and that kind of thing.

When Nick talked to him, he asked him if he wanted to join him for dinner. He said he didn't have to go, but he didn't think a person should be alone when they might be upset (or something to that affect). I was just struck by what a sweety he is! I mean I thought about that before, but again, it wasn't to the point where I got that love feeling. I think I kind of got it after that ep., but I didn't fully realize it until I saw Tin Man again and didn't get the feelings for Ambrose.

Damn, I took a long time to say all that and I probably repeated myself several times, but I don't care. That's how I do things, you know. Like to go over things I guess.

Speaking of people repeating things, I saw My Name is Earl for the first time today. That is such a funny and cool show. My fave character is Randy and then Catalina. In the 2nd ep. I watched, Randy was repeating a lot of things, so that's why I was reminded. I probably won't watch it when it's actually on, but I'll always try to catch it in reruns (like Scrubs).

Back to Nick (thought I was off that, didn't you? hee hee)...

ok, the thing that I love most, HANDS DOWN, about him is how empathetic he is! He is such a caring person! I mean, obviously he's not perfect, but he tries so hard to help people. The sad thing is that sometimes him caring so much gets him in trouble, but ultimately it is a very good way to be, especially in his line of work. He can help people deal with a loss and be more empathetic towards a victim, which cold hurt some people, but I think it helps Nick. In one case, he actually saved a little girl, who was left for dead, but turned out to be ok. I really love that ep. I want to see it again, especially now. I remember it made me cry.

Nick is generally empathetic, but more so when it comes to emotion, like when he sees that someone is upset, you can tell it is so upsetting to him, like it is hard for him to see a person go through that (I mean of course an innocent person). I am empathetic that way, but more when it comes to physical pain. It is very hard for me watch anything where someone is in great pain because I honestly feel their pain in a way. I mean, obviously not really, but I can just like so easily put myself in their place and think about how they must be feeling. The idea of causing harm to any living creature is just unfathomable to me.

Hmm, that's kind of a weird place to end the entry, but I can't think of what else to say, so bye for now!