I really wanted to post on here and I like to post my diaries when I'm alone because I can think better and just post what I feel. If there's someone else around I get nervous even if what I'm talking about in the diary isn't something I don't want the person to read. I just feel more comfortable writing when I'm alone. So I usually write in my diary when Lucy is asleep or in the br, but I was just about to start writing in my diary when she came out of her room. It was just cosmically bad timing. I had to ask Lucy if she could go back in her room, but then I felt like shit for asking her that. She went back in there and said she was tired, but I still feel selfish for asking her to go back in her room even though she said she was still tired. I guess I could have waited to post I just really felt like posting, but now I'm pissed off about having to tell her to go back in her room even though she would probably be going back in there anyway. Well whatever.

I wanted to go to the movies today to see "Serenity" again, but as I haven't had any sleep all night I don't know if I'll go. Maybe I'll see a late show.

You know who I was just thinking about? Peter from Atlantis :( They really didn't wait long to bring on the suckiness in that show did they? I mean don't get me wrong, I love Atlantis, but they could have at least given us till seas. 3 to kill off a cool character. Of course I would be perfectly happy if no good characters got killed off, but of course its not going to be that way, damn powers that be!

What I wanted to say before is well, I think I kind of have a little crush on Shia. He's just such a cutie and I've really thought he was cute for a while, but I haven't been able to see him when I was able to like him (as an adult) until TGGEP. Well, he is an adult in "Constantine", but he's not in that as much. He plays basically the lead role in TGGEP so he's not in every scene, but he's in a lot of them. Lucy thinks he looks young and I guess he does, but not too young to like. I think he looks at least 18 and he is 19. He also seems mature for his age when I see him on things. He graduated HS at 17 and runs his own movie and music company (with the help of a friend), things like that. So yeah, I don't see anything wrong with liking him. I really like the part when he first comes on in the movie.

Ok, here is the funny thing... I still have a crush on Carson too! That's why I don't think the crush on Shia is very strong. I really definitely have a crush on Carson still, man do I ever! I have just been wanting to look at pics of Shia and watch him in the movie as well as wanting to watch and look at pics of Carson. It's very weird because I am usually not crushing on 2 guys at the same time. I don't know if it's ever happened actually. When I was in JH, I could get a crush on a guy at the drop of a hat, but never at the same time. For instance, Lucy and I used to be really into the show "Hey Dude" that was on Nickelodeon when we were in 6th and 7th grade. Our 2 favorite guys on there were Jake and Ted. When Ted was on there Jake was gone and when Jake was on there Ted was gone. So, we developed a crush on Ted, but when he left and Jake came we got a crush on him, until he left and we got a crush on Ted again. It continued that way for a little bit till I guess we grew out of it. But this is different. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm not sure I can stop crushing on Carson. Not that I want to. Unless something happens to his character like what happened to Ford or something, god forbid, I just don't see myself not liking him. He's just such a sweety. How can you not just melt when he calls a girl love in that Scottish accent? Well, that's how it is for me anyway...

So I guess that's mostly what I wanted to say. I'm looking forward to seeing TGGEP again, but I do want to see "Serenity" again too and I'm going to see TGGEP with Lucy on Tues.

I'm not as annoyed anymore. That usually happens when I write for a bit. I guess that's it for now.