Stuff on the computer takes way too long! I am tired and haven't slept, but I need to sleep because I'm going to the movies and the mall with Lucy today. I was supposed to go yesterday, but that didn't work out. First of all, I got to bed even later so we got out late. Then I had to borrow some money from my Mom to give to Becky for the Disneyland trip so it took time to get over there. On top of that, I had put motor oil in my car and as I was driving down the freeway, I noticed there was smoke coming out of the hood. I pulled over and looked at the hood and one of the pipes connected to the area where the motor oil goes (I don't know what it's called, I don't know crap about cars) was off and leaking MO all over the engine! So I cleaned that up and got going, but by the time I was done visiting Mom and all that, there wasn't time to go so we're trying again today. At least we don't have to worry about going anywhere else.

One good thing about yesterday... I got the Atlantis season 1 DVD!!!! YEEESSSS!!! I haven't gotten a chance to watch it yet, but I can't wait! I think there are eps. I haven't seen or at least one's I've only seen once. Very much looking forward to watching all the eps. and the special features. I would have watched it last night except this cursed internet kept me up. Ok, I love the internet and all the boards I go to, but I wish it didn't take so long to do everything! I'm never finished!

I also wanted to say, off the subject, I was saying I had never posted anything like that (about liking Amanda) on my diary before, but I have said I'm attracted to her before. Maybe I was talking bout the fact that I've had crushes on other girls? Well I don't know. Anyway, just wanted to say that for some reason.

Well Lucy said I couldn't have phizofrenia (sorry if I spelled it wrong, I'm too tired to check) because I wouldn't be able to hide it from other people and it would be all the time and seem more real. She thinks I just saw ghosts. Ok, fine. Lucy pisses me off though. Not because she said that, but because I told her about the shadows and she is like in a 'yeah right' kind of tone "how come you never mentioned that before". What the fuck? Maybe because I knew you'd react that way! Every time I tell her some type of problem I have she always acts like I must be lying. I don't tell her every little thing so just because I tell her something that seems like I'm just coming up with it doesn't mean I am! She'll probably see this and get pissed off at me, but I have the right to put this on here. It just really pisses me off. I don't fucking act that way when she tells me something. Then I am fucking afraid to tell her anything about Carson cause I don't know what she'll say. Yeah he's not my soulmate or anything, but I do love him and she doesn't know how much or how I feel. Basically I just wish she would believe me when I tell her that I am not just making something up. She asked me if I saw shadows all the time and I was just like no, it hasn't been for a while and she was saying they were probably just ghosts. Anyway I told her that because I didn't want to deal with her anymore. If she sees this she will get pissed off, but she shouldn't becasue I have the right to post my feelings. If she doesn't like it, she shouldn't read my diary, and I hope she doesn't!

I guess that's all for now...